Location Scouting #1: Lagun Sari

Just came back from Lagun Sari's 'Golden Age Wedding Fair' this afternoon, and boy do I feel drained.

Bukan drained pasal ape. Drained pasal stress trying to fend off the wedding planner! Hahaha, but more of that later.

I liked this fair because it was free entry, free lunch and entertainment, goodie bags and a tour of the place, which was good because I had always wanted to survey their different floors but never had the chance to.

So the parentals and I arrived, signed in, sat down and... immediately went to the buffet hahaha

Of course we tried everything!

What did they have for us?

• Nasi Minyak
• Ayam Masak Merah
• Sambal Goreng Gelodok
• Rendang
• Mee Hoon Goreng Mamak
• Roti Jala w/ Chicken Curry
• Pengat Pisang (dessert)

I have to be honest k. The only things I liked from their menu was their Nasi Minyak and their Ayam Masak Merah. Everything else was just..... =X

The Sambal Goreng Gelodok had too much hati (liver, is it?) in it, the Rendang tasted too much of a certain spice, the Mee Hoon Goreng Mamak tasted like FLOUR, and the Chicken Curry had too much santan or whatever in it.

Disappointing actually.

So after our meal, we waited about 5-10 minutes for someone to attend to us (we understand the consultants are busy with other clients so we didn't mind), and then the GM introduced us to a Cik S.

Now, I'm not going to ruin anyone's rice bowl, and certainly not Cik S's, so I'm not going to mention any full names here (just in case my opinions matter hahaha).

Cik S was nice enough; he asked which of the packages I was interested in, and then went on to explain what would be included in my chosen package. He also included some other things that were not written in the actual list of items, heh heh.

I've blurred out the prices. Kalau nak tahu, text me separately ya?

As you can see, the list is pretty comprehensive. Apart from food and decor, they also provide your berkat, bunga rampai, bunga pahar, sireh dara/junjung, invitations, wedding cake, gubahan trays, DJ (for 500 pax and above), and even half-hourly shuttle buses to and fro Eunos MRT beb!

Cik S even threw in free Nasi Putih, kompang, wedding car, photobooth, and on top of that, CINCIN KAHWIN LA SIA. 1 PAIR LA SIA. GOLD LA SIA.

And all for the price of... $13xxx.

Macam unbelievable eh? I know, right?

So naturally, my parents fell in love la. Especially my dad. Senang, they kata. Tak payah fikir pape.

But I wasn't really convinced, cause so far my impression of them was a) their food sucked, b) the band playing kinda sucked so it pissed me off abit cause tak sedap didengar, c) the decor I saw was not exactly my thing (lots of ruffles, bling-bling and colour scheme tak kena).

The decor on the first floor

Nothing exactly screamed 'DREAM WEDDING' to me, you know?

So I asked Cik S to show me the upstairs rooms, cause I wanted to see what the other rooms' decorations were like before I made a decision.

Cik S advised us to take the room on the topmost floor (3rd). I didn't manage to take a picture of that room as there was an event happening there, so I grabbed some photos from their website.

This floor is honestly not bad. Nice pastel colours, but different la from what I had envisioned.

I BELIEVE the below picture is of the 2nd floor. Once again, taken off their website.

This one in the PICTURE is also not bad. The flowers and pelamin are quite alright, but sadly, when I was there, it was not this decor that I saw. The one I saw was more bling2 and teddy bears, and jewels all over. But, ok la.

So after the short tour, we went back downstairs to view the cards and gubahan trays on display. By the time we reached the invitation part of the display, my dad was SMITTEN.

Everything to him was lawa.
Everything to him was perfect.

And it was at this point that he started telling me to just take it up hahaha.

But I still could NOT make up my mind.

We sat down at the table again, and Cik S started being.... pushy. Sorry, there's no other word for it. He kept saying that everything's already included and that we didn't need to worry about anything anymore, and even asked me straight for my IC so he could sign us up. At one point, he GRABBED my dad's arm (in a friendly manner) to ask for MY DAD's IC.

Pakcik, you scary or what?

My mum sensed my hesitation, and tried to ask for some extra time to mull things over. Ask for a few days, Cik S say cannot. Ask for until the next day, Cik S say cannot. Ask for until later today, ALSO CIK S SAY CANNOT. How lidat, la Cik S?

I cannot, CANNOT make a decision this way. I understand that probably the promotions were only available for that day, but respect la siket Cik that I need time to think it over.

When I told him I needed time to think things over, he retorted, "Buat ape nak fikir2 lagi! Semua da ade da! Takyah fikir2 lagi! Semua cik da kasi untok awak je! IC?" whilst holding out his hand.

Wahlao, pakcik, you will NOT bully me into making a decision eh!

I asked him some questions about wanting fresh flowers as part of my decor and having my own mak andam instead of taking up theirs. He brushed off my wanting fresh flowers with the reason that it's a waste of money to have fresh flowers cause they will die anyway :( He also said that I could of course take up my own mak andam, but reiterates that I shouldn't do that as the mak andam they provide is only $2000, and my own one is a waste of my money. Whatever I want, mesti he say is a waste of money seh.

After a few minutes, I asked him politely if we could have some time to ourselves to think about it first. And luckily, he obliged and went to sit with a makcik and pakcik at another table (who handed him their IC later btw haha!)

So.. after discussion maha discussion with my parents, where I simply could not bring myself to say yes no matter how many times my dad told me to, and tried to persuade me to. He even offered to pay first!

But... no la. When something's not right, it just ain't right. You can feel it.

I'd spent a big chunk of my life doing things I didn't want to just to make the people around me happy, or because people say it's the right choice, and I will not do it again, cause I know the end result is simply regret. No more.

It's my money, it's my wedding. I have every right to want certain things. Things that Lagun Sari cannot give me.

So we left.

And I know that my dad is a bit upset at having to go all the way there only for me to turn it down. I know he thinks I'm passing up an amazing opportunity.

But when it's not right, it's not right. No amount of forcing can make it right. Plus, it's only the first vendor we've looked at leh! Cannot anyhow make decision la.

We did leave with something nice!

They handed us goodie bags and we got to take pictures at their photobooth!

So, according to the sign my dad's holding, in the end we really did come only for the food hahahaha

Of a bridesmaid and a (possible) bride (zilla)

I always thought I'd want my own "army" of bridesmaids to "iring" me on my big day.

To be there for me and calm me down if I were freaking out about anything wedding-related, to help me with my DIY projects (if any), to plan a Bachelorette party for me, to do fun stuff with me during my big day.

But now.. after having seen and heard a lot of stories about bridesmaids, bridezillas and the likes, I don't really know if I actually want all that anymore.

(Disclaimer: Not that any of my brides were actually bridezillas to me eh. Don't anyhow assume k! Lol)

Like I said, I've heard tons of stories.

Ade yang pasal the bride(zilla) "ordering" her bridesmaids to come early for hair and makeup, and then on the day itself, takde angin takde ribut, springing it on them that "hair and makeup you all bayar sendiri k", leaving them gobsmacked and digging around for money to pay the hair and makeup person on the spot cause they weren't prepared. I'm sure most bridesmaids wouldn't mind la, but at least ask them first if they're okay with it cause some people may simply not have the budget and may choose to do their own makeup to save money.

Ade yang pasal the brides expecting bridesmaids to do stuff for them, because "I'm the BRIDE and I am QUEEN", not caring that the bridesmaids might have their own lives to lead, and having their own stuff to deal with.

And ade jugak yang pasal the bride SULKING & throwing tantrums when the bridesmaids aren't able to help as much due to certain reasons, or if things don't really go according to plan. Which leads me to the below tweets sent by a friend...

Sungguh pedas, no? LOL

LOL! I actually found it quite funny and SPOT ON, if I must say.

It's true isn't it, that your girls are becoming your bridesmaids out of goodwill? And sure it's definitely an honour to be CHOSEN, but it's also important to remember that they're not exactly paid to be at your beck and call, and thus, you cannot EXPECT them to be.

Which is why I can't really decide if I want to have bridesmaids or not for my wedding. Of course, I'd love to have my best girls with me throughout the day lending me support, but you know the whole process of having to choose which girls make the cut and all....

On top of that, I'd feel really bad asking the girls to pay for their own outfits and stuff, and so I'd probably end up sponsoring their outfits. I didn't mind doing it for my brides, but I'm just worried about asking them to do it for me, you know? You know how sometimes you're willing to do something for someone, but you don't know whether other people would be willing to do the same for you?

POKOKNYA.... actually I think I can be quite cerewet so I'm afraid I might just turn into a bridezilla despite my best intentions not to la hahahahaha

I'm afraid I might put my friends in a position to feel resentful towards me for having to do things for me that they didn't feel 100% for. I don't believe in feeling like they owe me the world just cause I'm the bride for that one day, cause that just ain't right. They are my friends, first and foremost, and you don't treat your friends that way.

I've seen firsthand how some weddings can ruin friendships, and I treasure all my friends too much to risk losing them over my wedding :(

Baik pulak eh aku. #lol

Of negativity

I'd promised myself I wouldn't taint this blog with negative posts, but memandangkan this is MY blog and cause I'm a tad angsty today, I'm breaking my own promise. #sorrynotsorry

You see, I have friends.

No, salah. I have "friends". People who call themselves my friends but secretly (or not) make fun of me because of the content of this blog. People who take digs at me cause I'm talking about planning my wedding but haven't booked anything yet. People who poke fun at the fact that aku buat list of things I need to do for the wedding these next few months.

To these people, I say this to you.

Enjoy your lives. Every single minute of it. If you feel that your lives are made better by putting me down and laughing at me, good for you. Good that you feel that you're perfect enough. But so be it. I'm in no position to tell you how to behave. Just like how you're in no position to dictate the content of this blog. Your life is your life.

I just know that I don't want to be a part of it. 

I'm turning 27 this year, and I've reached a point where I want to stay away from situations that make me unhappy. Surround yourself with positivity, they say.

If you feel that you're better than me, good for you. I'm not competing with anyone here. But I AM trying to be a better person. And I'm trying to stay away from anything I don't like. If I don't like it, I don't like it. And right now, I don't like the way you're behaving with me. So I'm staying away.

Trying to avoid negativity? Then don't create it.

Funny

Kelakar tau bila people start to get offended that you didn't invite them to your engagement. Hahaha.

Engagement tau guys, belom wedding lagi.

I feel bad that I don't feel bad leh. LOL. I guess I've gone past the point where I actually give a damn about the opinions of people whom I deem insignificant.

My family and I meet this person like what.. once a year? We are not even related by blood. So why does this person feel that he/she is entitled to an invitation eh? If it were a wedding, sure I'd most definitely have invited him/her, but dude, it's just an engagement. Buat kat rumah jer. Takde la khemah-khemah or kerusi meja pat bawah block. Mak andam pon is my own friend, not like it's anyone like Nora Zee or what. I had to keep to 100 guests which includes my family members like my aunties and uncles; that's already half of the guest list already.

Aiyah.. I guess all I'm trying to say is... CHILL LA SIA. Nanti kite kahwin, aku invite la hahahaha

People are so funny tau. Invite banyak org, people will talk like "kenapa banyak sgt invite orang? nak tunjuk-tunjuk ke?" Invite siket org, "eh kenape tak invite so and so? sedih seh! u tak mampu ke?"

Ehwah ehwahhhh mulot nye. kena belacan baru tau!

LOL. To each his own la kan.

About time I be honest about what I want

So today...

I went a bit crazy on the vendor researching and quotation-asking. Lol.

Don't ask me why. I suddenly felt the strongest urge to search for a vendor that could provide me with an all-in package for a reasonable price. I figured it'd be easier and more economical.

I was reading a fellow BTB's blog yesterday, and it really made me more determined to not spend so much on just one day. Yes, it is an extremely important day in our lives, but our MARRIAGE is more important. Not wedding, but MARRIAGE. I don't want to spend so much on just one day and then have no money for honeymoon, no money for house, no money to eat.

Do you know what I want?

I want a short sanding at NIGHT at a gorgeous park / beach location (with shelter) with fairy lights and beautiful stars dotting a velvety dark blue sky. I want something different from the usual lunch reception. I want my guests to have fun and be entertained by music videos, montages, and good music (live or not). It doesn't have to be grand. I want my wedding to be within my budget, and yet beautiful. Memorable.

Do you know what I DON'T want?

I don't want a wedding where I have to pay an arm and a leg for. I don't want anything typical. I don't want a wedding where I have to listen to a million and one aunties' "advice" on how things should be. I don't want a wedding that is bounded by "tradition". I don't want to show off my newly acquired status and wedding to 1000 guests.

If I had it my way, I'd be extremely happy with a wedding dinner under the moonlit sky with my closest friends and family.

But only time (and future discussions with the boy and our parents) will tell whether my dreams will become a reality.

When #misai bertunang

When #misai bertunang....

It was 18th October 2014.

It was colourful.

It was mostly DIY-ed.
It was full of DELICIOUS food and desserts.

It was FILLED TO THE BRIM with loved ones.

It was pretty awesome, hehe.

Wanna know/see/read more? Click here: The Engagement

Please be warned that it's a photo-heavy post. So don't click the link if you're not into pretty pictures and just wanna read long, boring word posts heh heh

Terror.

At this moment, terror is gripping my heart. Gripping my heart so tightly I feel like it may burst at any time. No matter where I turn, terror refuses to let go.

Why is this part of my life so difficult? Why have these past 2 years been so trying?

Everytime I come to terms with a setback, another setback comes and punches me in the gut.

This is by far the most difficult period in my life. Thinking I was one step closer to achieving my goals, and then realizing I may never be able to.

And to think of all the people I'd be letting down in the process; my parents, my fiance, and worst of all, myself.

No way out of this.

I need peace, but can't achieve it. I need hope, but can't see it.

The worst is knowing that I'm all alone in this. No one understands it because no one is going through it.

I need strength, but can't feel it.